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5 Steps To Forgive

5 Steps To Forgive

We benefit immensely when we choose to forgive and so does everyone around us. Whether we need to forgive others, or need to forgive ourself, doing so sets us free from the past and enables us to fulfil our true potential. Forgiveness allows us to break free from limiting beliefs, error in our thinking and attitudes. It frees up our mental and emotional energies so that we can apply them to creating a better life.

Forgiveness helps you achieve even your most practical and immediate goals. Perhaps you want a better job, to earn more money, have better relationships, or live in a nicer place. Forgiveness helps you achieve all of these. If you have not forgiven then a part of your inner life energy is trapped in resentment, anger, pain, or suffering of some kind. This trapped life energy will limit you. It it like trying to ride a bicycle with the brakes partly on all the time. It slows you down, frustrates you and makes it difficult to move forward.

The choices you make and the things that you believe are possible will all be influenced by the ways you have not forgiven. As you learn to forgive the energy which was going into unhappy thoughts and feelings gets liberated and can flow into creating the life you want rather than limiting you or creating more suffering.

If you do not want to learn to forgive to benefit yourself; then learn to forgive so you can benefit others. As you learn to forgive you benefit everyone you are in contact with. Your thinking will be clearer and more positive than before. You will have a lot more to give and you will more readily enjoy sharing what you have. You will naturally and easily become kinder, more generous and more caring of others – without having to struggle to achieve this. You will have a happier and more positive attitude to the people in your life and they will respond more positively to you in return.

If you want to move up to the next level of financial abundance and success, Forgiveness will help you achieve it. For example, if you want more money in your life you need to make sure that you do not resent people who have more money than you. People with more money than you are the ones best placed to help you have more money too. If, as some people do, you resent “people with money” then they will not be able to help you, because you are not open to them while you are busy resenting them. Likewise, if you have a positive attitude to people who are more successful than you (you smile at them rather than glower at them) they will see you as approachable and will more likely want to work with you, or socialise with you.

If you want a better job, and to earn more money, then having a positive attitude towards the place you work, towards your boss, towards colleagues and towards clients or customers, helps immensely. People who have a positive, helpful attitude stand out in any situation. You can never succeed in an organisation which you do not want to succeed, because you will not give of your best. If you do not give of your best, by doing the best job you can, then you will not receive the best that can come to you. Forgiveness will help you have the kind of attitude which will make you very successful at your job.

Learning to forgive yourself is vitally important too. Hurting yourself, by refusing to forgive yourself, hurts others also. If you do not forgive yourself then you will punish yourself by denying yourself the good things in life. The more you deny yourself the less you have to give. The less you have to give the less you can benefit those around you. When you stop limiting what you receive then you stop limiting what you can give. Everyone benefits when you forgive yourself as you then allow more good into your life, and have a lot more to share.

If you are a spiritually minded, person then learning practical ways to forgive will enhance and deepen your experience of your spiritual practice. It will help free you from guilt about not being as “good” as you feel you should be, because it will help you become the type of person you would like to be. Practising forgiveness strengthens the goodness within you so that it becomes more active in your life. You will naturally feel less inclined to do the things you know you should not do, but have not been able to stop yourself doing. You will start to do more of the things you know you ought to do, but have not been able to get yourself to do.

The Five Steps to Forgiveness:

Step 1: State who you need to forgive and for what.
Step 2: Acknowledge how you currently feel about the situation. It is best if these are your honest feelings, not the nice, polite things you think you should feel. You need to work from how you really feel. Then you express your willingness to at least be open to the possibility of letting go of those feelings.
Step 3: State the benefits you will get from forgiving. This will mainly be the contrast of what you are currently feeling. Sadness will become happiness, anger will become peace, heaviness becomes a feeling of lightness and so on
Step 4: Commit yourself to forgiving. This is simply stating who you intend to forgive and then reinforce the benefits which come from forgiving.
Step 5: Gratitude: Thank yourself for the ability to forgive and thank the other person for their forgiveness.

I live this quote on Judgment from ‘A Course in Miracles’ 

Remember how many times you thought you knew all the “facts” you needed for judgment, and how wrong you were! There is Someone with you whose judgement is perfect, who knows all the facts past, present and still to come. Therefore lay judgement down, not with regret but with gratitude. 


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